As someone with ADHD, I am always interested in ways to reduce unwanted distractions in my life. A few years ago I started reading about people who had taken something called the "100 item challenge". This is for folks who really want to live with the smallest possible amount of stuff. They basically reduce everything they own down to 100 items. Now, I knew that was not going to be for me, but it did get me thinking.
I ended up thinking about all of this the next time I decided to clean out my closet - which I do a couple times a year - and I piled everything on the bed. There was a lot of stuff. Then I decided to empty my dresser, the coat rack, and my shoe organizers. Then I added purses, scarves, and belts. It actually made me feel kind-of gross. Most of the stuff I didn't even wear.
I started thinking about the 100 item challenge, and wondered if I could get this pile down to that. It occurred to me that not so long ago average people lived with much less to wear and survived without being arrested for indecency. Maybe I could too. So I thought about what would be in the average woman's wardrobe 100 years ago. I needed a 5-6 outfits for work. I needed something to wear for weddings and funerals. I needed stuff to wear at home. and of course I needed sleepwear and underwear.
Well, I decided to do the 100 item challenge for that season and was able to get the pile down to 100 items. Because I wasn't truly trusting of this new system yet, I put everything left into plastic tubs and stored it. And yes, I counted the number of items. It actually totalled in at 85.
Doing this turned out to be one of the best things I have ever done in my life. Seriously.
Suddenly I not only could get all of the laundry done in two reasonable sized loads, I had to do it each week so I would have enough to wear. Choosing clothing in the morning was easy, because there wasn't that much of a decision to make. Since I had my favorite clothes, and nothing worn out, ripped or stained, I was happy with what I had on every day. My closet stayed neater.
The next time closet-cleaning time came around, I did three things. First of all, I added in the rest of the clothes I wanted to have to complete a year-round cycle and stay under 200 items. At this point I was confident that I could live with this amount of clothing, so secondly I bagged up everything else and took it to Goodwill. Thirdly, I took anything that was worn and stained out of the current collection and worked on replacing it. I have been using that routine every since.
Now because I have fewer clothes and therefore wear them out sooner, I do buy new stuff just about every season. Because I'm not buying a lot, I do buy decent quality items. I also tend to buy things I can wash, since I don't really have time for items to be at the dry cleaner. Finally, I buy a lot of mix and match skirts, pants and tops and only have a few dresses. Because I do a lot of mix and match, I tend to buy from just a few stores so that all of the colors go together. This cuts down on my clothes shopping, which I do not generally like anyway.
If you like fashion and it's your hobby, this might not be something for you. But if you like to look good with a minimum of fuss and bother, you might want to consider this challenge. It's made a really difference in my ADHD life. Maybe it can in yours.
Showing posts with label home organization. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home organization. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Monday, August 4, 2014
How to Get to School On Time
For those who are now grumbling at me after the last post,
here is a follow-up. Remember that I am
a chronically late person, and I live with three other people who have some
form of ADHD. We are all recovering
“late-a-holics”. Here are some things
that I have used to get places on time – particularly in the morning before
school. Hopefully they will help you.
1.
Find
a reason for being on time. If not
being late is not important to you, nothing below will make a difference. People have different reasons for wanting to
be certain places on time. When my
children were in high school and had to drive 40 minutes one way, getting up
and out the door with plenty of commute time was a trade-off to Saturday
School. Maybe you just want your child
to have time to transition in the morning.
Maybe you want them to learn that being on time is important. Whatever the reason, you need to find it so
that you will want to be prompt.
2.
Look
at what you are doing right before you leave. This is especially important in the
mornings. Can anything on the “to do”
list be done the night before? How about
on Sunday? I know one family that puts
lunch components in plastic bags and containers on Sunday for the entire week. Then they pull the lunch together the night
before. How about showers at night
instead of in the morning? I even know
some families that give baths and put the younger children to sleep in the shirt
they will wear to school the next day.
Can anything be eliminated? Can the
garbage go out in the afternoon instead of in the morning?
3.
Resist
the urge to get sidetracked. Your
routine should be your routine. In other
words, don’t load the dishwasher or clean the cat box one morning if it’s not
something you normally do, or try a new hairdo that takes extra time.
4.
Have
a bathroom schedule. Not only does
this streamline everyone’s routine, but it will also cut down on those folks
who like to spend 25 minutes in the shower.
If you need to, put a timer in the bathroom and set it.
5.
Cut
down on electronic distractions. No TV, phones, iPads, or other electronics before leaving. Period.
This includes the grown-ups. If
your job means early morning email, it should be finished before your children
wake up so that they have your full attention.
6.
Speaking
of being ready before the kids………This will probably be the least favorite
suggestion, but do you get up before the kids?
How about getting up early enough so that you are dressed, fed, and
ready to go out the door? You can then
spend your time getting everyone else ready.
If you are not distracted with your own activities, it’s harder for the
little people to wander instead of putting on shoes, etc.
7.
Skip
the drive-thru. It’s actually not a
guaranteed time saver. You know that
rule that says when you are cutting your time close, the guy in front of you
will have four separate orders or the credit card machine will not be
working. While you are putting together
lunches on Sunday, put together grab and go breakfasts as well. They will probably be cheaper and have less
fat.
8.
Allow
for traffic. Assume there will be an
accident. Better to arrive 20 minutes
early than 10 minutes late. A lot of
smart phones will now estimate the time it takes to get to where you are going
quite accurately at any given time. If you
have that feature, you can check on things 15 minutes before you would normally
leave and possibly get out the door a few minutes sooner.
If you have other ways that you get places (especially to
school) on time, I would love to hear about them. Different things work for different people. Feel free to comment below. Find me on FB at Pamela Mecca Seymour, LPC or
on Twitter @Pam327.
Why getting to school on time is really important.
This morning I spent some time in a classroom while their teacher was finishing a meeting. The majority of children were there right on time and ready to begin. The teacher assistant greeted the children at the door and gave them a warm-up work to do until it was time for morning meeting. It was a 5-10 minute activity.
Three children arrived late and did not have time to start the activity before being called to the rug. One child was visibly anxious about this and came to me saying, “I haven’t started tracing my numbers yet!” I assured her that it would be all right and that she would have time to finish the activity later. But as she watched the other children putting their work in the completion basket, the look on her face told me she remained unconvinced. I wondered how well the child was able to hear what the adult was saying in morning meeting. She did not raise her hand at all. I wondered if she was still thinking about that worksheet.
We all know how hard it is to “catchup” during the day when we start behind. I hope the rest of her day is better.
Until I spent time in classrooms early in the morning, I did not appreciate how late arrival can mess up a child’s day. It can also mess up the classroom. This particular morning there were no children that came in and interrupted morning meeting, but I know that often happens in other rooms. Coming in late puts the “late arrivee” on the spot for anything they might have missed. Moreover, everyone's attention diverts to the person putting up their water bottle, lunch, etc. Children are missing what the teacher is saying. And what she is saying first thing in the morning is pretty important. If it’s just one child, the teacher can check in with the group and make sure everyone got everything. But if it happens four times over 10-15 minutes, it becomes difficult to regroup. Everyone ends up getting pretty frustrated.
I’m not talking to the parent that is late to school once a quarter. I’m talking to the folks that are late more than once a week. Now before you get all irritated with me, I will tell you that I used to be chronically late. I misjudge the time and try to stuff too much activity into the period right before I have to leave to go places. The only reason my kids were at school on time was because I worked in the front office and had to be in the building early in the day. Most important, I didn’t think it was a big deal to be 15-20 minutes late all the time. Finally, a good friend of mine left me behind one day when I didn't meet her to carpool because I was 15 minutes late yet again. She was fed-up. The day after that, another good friend and psychologist told me that chronic lateness is just passive aggressive behavior towards the person you are holding up. I guess that’s why it feels so rude.
I can’t tell you that I was never late after that, but I decided that being on time was going to be important. I just realized I wanted to give people more respect, and I wanted to stop arriving at places feeling rushed and scattered.
Isn’t that something you want to teach your child?
Three children arrived late and did not have time to start the activity before being called to the rug. One child was visibly anxious about this and came to me saying, “I haven’t started tracing my numbers yet!” I assured her that it would be all right and that she would have time to finish the activity later. But as she watched the other children putting their work in the completion basket, the look on her face told me she remained unconvinced. I wondered how well the child was able to hear what the adult was saying in morning meeting. She did not raise her hand at all. I wondered if she was still thinking about that worksheet.
We all know how hard it is to “catchup” during the day when we start behind. I hope the rest of her day is better.
Until I spent time in classrooms early in the morning, I did not appreciate how late arrival can mess up a child’s day. It can also mess up the classroom. This particular morning there were no children that came in and interrupted morning meeting, but I know that often happens in other rooms. Coming in late puts the “late arrivee” on the spot for anything they might have missed. Moreover, everyone's attention diverts to the person putting up their water bottle, lunch, etc. Children are missing what the teacher is saying. And what she is saying first thing in the morning is pretty important. If it’s just one child, the teacher can check in with the group and make sure everyone got everything. But if it happens four times over 10-15 minutes, it becomes difficult to regroup. Everyone ends up getting pretty frustrated.
I’m not talking to the parent that is late to school once a quarter. I’m talking to the folks that are late more than once a week. Now before you get all irritated with me, I will tell you that I used to be chronically late. I misjudge the time and try to stuff too much activity into the period right before I have to leave to go places. The only reason my kids were at school on time was because I worked in the front office and had to be in the building early in the day. Most important, I didn’t think it was a big deal to be 15-20 minutes late all the time. Finally, a good friend of mine left me behind one day when I didn't meet her to carpool because I was 15 minutes late yet again. She was fed-up. The day after that, another good friend and psychologist told me that chronic lateness is just passive aggressive behavior towards the person you are holding up. I guess that’s why it feels so rude.
I can’t tell you that I was never late after that, but I decided that being on time was going to be important. I just realized I wanted to give people more respect, and I wanted to stop arriving at places feeling rushed and scattered.
Isn’t that something you want to teach your child?
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
My Seven Hairbrushes
It's been about five years since I've started altering my environment to reduce stress. I'm not talking about soothing paint colors or quiet music or fluffy pillows. Those things are wonderful, and they do help reduce stress, but I'm talking about more about my stuff and where it is.
I started to get a clue about this when I read the upteenth psychological report for a child with ADHD that recommended they have a set of textbooks at home and one at school. I hadn't really done any reading on ADHD at that point because I'd just recently been diagnosed myself. At that point my son had not been formally diagnosed, so I was still in the dark about how the ADHD brain really functions. This idea of duplicates seemed pretty cool. A rather elegant solution to leaving stuff behind all the time.
One of the small things in my life that caused a great deal of stress was never seeming to have a hairbrush when I needed one. I had started carrying a very small purse, and the hairbrush I liked would always get stuffed in last. When I had to dig something out, the hairbrush was the first thing out, and inevitably left where I put it down. Lots of bad hair days. I finally realized that like a duplicate set of textbooks, I needed duplicate hairbrushes in several different places EXCEPT my purse. So now I have one in both bathrooms, all three cars, my desk at school, and in my suitcase. May seem like overkill, but I'm never without one.
The hairbrush thing turned out to be the start of other things that changed small stressful areas of my life. My car keys are now either in my ignition, or clipped with a carabiner to the outside of my purse. I only keep my carkeys on that carabiner so that I don't use them for any other purpose than to drive the car. I looked at every horizontal surface in the house and removed as much visual clutter as I could. I pared down everything in my closet to a minimum. Most weeks I go to the grocery store only once, and I tend to buy the same stuff. I come home and make food for the entire week. I take the sheets off the bed, wash and dry them and put them right back on so they don't add to the laundry pile.
All of these things are small, but they make a big difference in my stress level on a day-to-day basis. I know that my brain does a poor job of keeping me conscious of where I put things, so important things always have to be in the same obvious place or places. I need duplicates of some things in several places. (Like my phone charger.) I know that I have a hard time "getting going" when it comes to housework and laundry. Having a huge pile of laundry to do invites my brain to suggest putting it off until I "have more time". Seems like a piece of cake to wash, dry, fold and distribute a small load. Somehow it seems easier to keep a house clean that has less stuff laying around. I'm still not sure exactly what executive function is involved in that. I know that the visual stimulation of all the stuff at the grocery store tends to stress me out. I want to be out of the place so sometimes I don't make good decisions, buy stuff I really don't need, or leave without getting everything I need. Telling myself that I only buy the same detergent regardless of what is on sale, and doing that with other items beside, actually saves some money and definitely a lot of time. My phone has a location-specific list maker. (So when I drive to Target or BJs, a list of items I need at those stores pops up...) That has helped a lot, but no technology is foolproof.
I still struggle with other issues of disorganization, activation (getting going), and maintenance. You ought to see my craft room right now. Whew! I'm always on the prowl for some new strategy to add to my life, but I'm really happy about what I've done so far. If you have tips that have helped reduce your ADHD stress, feel free to share them in the comments section below.
I started to get a clue about this when I read the upteenth psychological report for a child with ADHD that recommended they have a set of textbooks at home and one at school. I hadn't really done any reading on ADHD at that point because I'd just recently been diagnosed myself. At that point my son had not been formally diagnosed, so I was still in the dark about how the ADHD brain really functions. This idea of duplicates seemed pretty cool. A rather elegant solution to leaving stuff behind all the time.
One of the small things in my life that caused a great deal of stress was never seeming to have a hairbrush when I needed one. I had started carrying a very small purse, and the hairbrush I liked would always get stuffed in last. When I had to dig something out, the hairbrush was the first thing out, and inevitably left where I put it down. Lots of bad hair days. I finally realized that like a duplicate set of textbooks, I needed duplicate hairbrushes in several different places EXCEPT my purse. So now I have one in both bathrooms, all three cars, my desk at school, and in my suitcase. May seem like overkill, but I'm never without one.
The hairbrush thing turned out to be the start of other things that changed small stressful areas of my life. My car keys are now either in my ignition, or clipped with a carabiner to the outside of my purse. I only keep my carkeys on that carabiner so that I don't use them for any other purpose than to drive the car. I looked at every horizontal surface in the house and removed as much visual clutter as I could. I pared down everything in my closet to a minimum. Most weeks I go to the grocery store only once, and I tend to buy the same stuff. I come home and make food for the entire week. I take the sheets off the bed, wash and dry them and put them right back on so they don't add to the laundry pile.
All of these things are small, but they make a big difference in my stress level on a day-to-day basis. I know that my brain does a poor job of keeping me conscious of where I put things, so important things always have to be in the same obvious place or places. I need duplicates of some things in several places. (Like my phone charger.) I know that I have a hard time "getting going" when it comes to housework and laundry. Having a huge pile of laundry to do invites my brain to suggest putting it off until I "have more time". Seems like a piece of cake to wash, dry, fold and distribute a small load. Somehow it seems easier to keep a house clean that has less stuff laying around. I'm still not sure exactly what executive function is involved in that. I know that the visual stimulation of all the stuff at the grocery store tends to stress me out. I want to be out of the place so sometimes I don't make good decisions, buy stuff I really don't need, or leave without getting everything I need. Telling myself that I only buy the same detergent regardless of what is on sale, and doing that with other items beside, actually saves some money and definitely a lot of time. My phone has a location-specific list maker. (So when I drive to Target or BJs, a list of items I need at those stores pops up...) That has helped a lot, but no technology is foolproof.
I still struggle with other issues of disorganization, activation (getting going), and maintenance. You ought to see my craft room right now. Whew! I'm always on the prowl for some new strategy to add to my life, but I'm really happy about what I've done so far. If you have tips that have helped reduce your ADHD stress, feel free to share them in the comments section below.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
5 Things ADHDers Can Do in 2014
I have never been big on New Year's Resolutions that require learning difficult new habits. In particular this is because January and February have traditionally been the months when I've had the lowest amounts of energy and motivation. New diet and/or exercise program = epic fail. However, I love lists of things that you can do that are (or at least are pretty close to) One and Done. Here's that type of list for you. If you or someone in your family is diagnosed with ADHD or ADD, here are some things to do in the new year.
1. Subscribe to CHADD. http://www.chadd.org/. CHADD stands for Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. They are the largest organization of their kind, and they have a phenomenal amount of information on their site including articles, webinars, research studies, and information about local groups. Your $53 membership also includes "Attention" magazine and access to all the previous issues online. It's a great way to educate yourself and your family.
2. Watch these two videos: "ADD and Loving It" and "ADD and Mastering It." Available at TotallyADD.com. I think these videos are the best at providing a thorough and funny view of ADHD. They are good for ages 10 and up. Our understanding of ADHD in our house took a major turn after my husband and I watched them.
3. If you are a parent of a child with ADHD, consider whether or not you might have ADHD and whether or not you need treatment and/or coaching. This is very important for two reasons. First, the ADHD symptoms in your children are affected, both positively and negatively, by your parenting behavior. If your home is in chaos, you cannot expect your ADHD child to be organized and on top of things at school. It's really not very fair, and it just plain old isn't going to happen. More importantly, your attempts to overcome your own struggles with an ADHD brain are going to be a powerful example to your child. If your child has ADHD, there's almost an even chance that one of their biological parents does too. So take a look in the mirror. Go see your Doctor or a Psychologist and have a screening done.
4. Consider getting a smartphone or an iTouch for everyone in your house who is in 6th grade or higher, and learn how to use it one app at a time. The apps and features on these things can be harnessed to make up for what the ADHD brain lacks - multiple times over. Alarms, digital calendars, task lists, homework apps, grocery store lists and apps, mindfulness training, exercise routines - the list is endless. Please DON'T start with Facebook or Angry Birds because you probably won't move on to the more important tasks. There are several good articles out right now about using smartphones with ADHD. http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/5329.html, http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/top-adhd-android-iphone-apps and http://www.danarayburn.com/managing-add-adhd/using-the-iphone-to-manage-adult-add-adhd%E2%80%A8/ for a few examples.
1. Subscribe to CHADD. http://www.chadd.org/. CHADD stands for Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. They are the largest organization of their kind, and they have a phenomenal amount of information on their site including articles, webinars, research studies, and information about local groups. Your $53 membership also includes "Attention" magazine and access to all the previous issues online. It's a great way to educate yourself and your family.
2. Watch these two videos: "ADD and Loving It" and "ADD and Mastering It." Available at TotallyADD.com. I think these videos are the best at providing a thorough and funny view of ADHD. They are good for ages 10 and up. Our understanding of ADHD in our house took a major turn after my husband and I watched them.
3. If you are a parent of a child with ADHD, consider whether or not you might have ADHD and whether or not you need treatment and/or coaching. This is very important for two reasons. First, the ADHD symptoms in your children are affected, both positively and negatively, by your parenting behavior. If your home is in chaos, you cannot expect your ADHD child to be organized and on top of things at school. It's really not very fair, and it just plain old isn't going to happen. More importantly, your attempts to overcome your own struggles with an ADHD brain are going to be a powerful example to your child. If your child has ADHD, there's almost an even chance that one of their biological parents does too. So take a look in the mirror. Go see your Doctor or a Psychologist and have a screening done.
4. Consider getting a smartphone or an iTouch for everyone in your house who is in 6th grade or higher, and learn how to use it one app at a time. The apps and features on these things can be harnessed to make up for what the ADHD brain lacks - multiple times over. Alarms, digital calendars, task lists, homework apps, grocery store lists and apps, mindfulness training, exercise routines - the list is endless. Please DON'T start with Facebook or Angry Birds because you probably won't move on to the more important tasks. There are several good articles out right now about using smartphones with ADHD. http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/5329.html, http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/top-adhd-android-iphone-apps and http://www.danarayburn.com/managing-add-adhd/using-the-iphone-to-manage-adult-add-adhd%E2%80%A8/ for a few examples.
5. Read ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life by Judith Kohlberg. Before you run out and buy 18 plastic bins next week to "finally organize that junk room!" or clean out the car "so it STAYS that way!", buy this book and read it. An easy read with lots and lots of practical suggestions for many different types of things. It also does a great job explaining why certain types of organizational solutions = epic fail for ADHDers. The other ADHD members of your family will thank you for not trying to impose a system that will spell a lack of success for them.
Hopefully you will find these items relatively quick and somewhat painless. You don't have to do all of them and you don't have to do them in any particular order. As my friend the FlyLady says, "Just jump in where you are!"
Happy New Year!
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